Cooking with Hank – in a dumpster?

RICHLAND CENTER, Wis (WRCO) – Cooking with Hank. Do you have the HUNGER? Do you have a couple of bucks and some hot sauce? Hank can feed YOU!

Dumpster Omelet Deluxe™
A gourmet experience for the financially frugal and fridge-curious.

Ingredients:

• 2 eggs (or whatever’s left in the carton that hasn’t fused to the shelf)
• 1 generous handful of shredded cheese (definition of “cheese” is loose)
• Leftovers that look less suspicious than your ex’s text history
• Optional: hot sauce, regret, or a prayer

Instructions:

1. Begin with confidence. Pretend you’re on a cooking show. Announce to your cat that today, we’re making something “bold and rustic.” Bonus points if you call it “a deconstructed breakfast experience.”
2. Crack those eggs like your dreams at tax season. Beat them in a pan like they owe you money.
3. Fridge dive. This is the magic moment. Reach into the abyss of your refrigerator. Pull out mystery containers. If it doesn’t growl or wink at you, it’s probably safe. That half-burger from two nights ago? Yes. The taco meat that’s “probably still good?” Also yes. Half a hot dog, three lonely tater tots, and some rice from last Tuesday? Heck yes. Throw it all in.
4. Add cheese. Doesn’t matter if it’s mozzarella, cheddar, or something that was cheese in a former life. Melt it in and call it “umami.”
5. Stir and pray. Let everything simmer together until it vaguely resembles food. If the smell reminds you of a state fair, you’re doing it right.
6. Serve with flair. Plate it like a chef with a $20 ego and a $2 budget. Sprinkle something green on top — maybe parsley, or maybe it’s a piece of lettuce you tore up. Either way, act like it was intentional.
7. Rename for class. Call it a “Rustic Fusion Brunch Bowl” or “Farmhouse Surprise.” Or, if you’re brutally honest, just go with “Dumpster Omelet: Bold Edition.”
8. Optional pairing: Pairs well with lukewarm coffee, orange juice from concentrate, or a mimosa made with off-brand ginger ale and whatever wine is still in the fridge from New Year’s.

Chef’s Note:
Best enjoyed alone, while standing at the counter in your pajamas, pretending Gordon Ramsay would be proud.

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